Stop Being So Hard on Yourself

Ladies are 143236

Vivian Diller Photo: AbleStock. And by that I don't mean which over-the-counter remedy works best or how to get just the right nip or tuck that leads to looking like a model on a magazine cover. What I mean is what really works from the inside out for real women who want to look great at any age. Having worked inside the world of beauty—as a Wilhelmina model in the '70s—I discovered trade secrets from women whose lives were all about looking the best they could. Yes, our objective then was to make it to the cover of those magazines! As a psychologist for more than 20 years, I came to have a different goal: to help women understand themselves so they could feel and look their best. My two careers led me to write Face It, a book exploring the psychological answer to, What really makes women feel attractive for life? Their responses revealed a number of surprising similarities and are summarized in these eight psychological tips that work from the inside out.

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Ban Being So Hard on Yourself As a result of Valerie Monroe Illustration: Vivienne Flesher All over we turn, there are images of gorgeous women, constant reproaches to the reality of us, with our actual bodies and un-Photoshopped flaws. We're not buying it anymore. We're tackling the critics—from the parents and teachers who favor the prettiest children to look-ist employers to the most hurtful of all, that nasty, catty girl who lives right behind our eyes. Not long ago, I sat in my office, chatting with a friend. Denial, no, I said; I only hunt to know what she saw after she looked in the mirror.

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