Why Men Are Hot for Sex but Women Warm to It

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What I learned talking to women about their sex lives and desires Photograph: Getty Images Photograph: Getty Images I spoke with widows, newlyweds, monogamists, secret liaison seekers, submissives and polyamorists and found there was no such thing as desire too high or low Katherine Rowland Wed 5 Feb We scarcely bat an eyelash at its power or insistence. Inas experts weighed the moral and medical implications of the first female libido drugI found myself unsatisfied with the myths of excess and deficit on offer, and set out to understand how women themselves perceive and experience their passions. Over the course of five years, I talked with women and dozens of sexual health professionals. My reporting took me from coast to coast, and spanned conversations from a year-old convinced she was sexually damaged to a year-old learning how to orgasm. I spoke with widows, newlyweds, committed monogamists, secret liaison seekers, submissives and proud polyamorists. In Los Angeles, I sat with a group of determinedly nonplussed sex coaches as they took in a live flogging demonstration, while in New York I stood among a thousand women whipped into a fist-pumping frenzy by a guru who declared the time had come for them to reconnect to their sensuality.

A few prefer G-spot stimulation, or for their partner to suck on their toes. Others like to dominate, or austerely to be held — the catalogue goes on and on. Though women have always been involved in the industry, until the s porn was largely geared toward a male addressee. When home videos became available, but, porn — previously only shown all the rage theatres — became more easily affable to women as well as men.